Necessary Bodily Functions
by MelancholyMadness
Summary: Sometimes it'll just pass, but other times you just can't hold it in. A Team-Gai fic.


1Hi! I'm Ashley (or Ash)I'm going TRY to write more this summer (if you have any prompts and such, please feel free to PM me). I am no longer Awesomely Awesome4, so if anyone did notice... ya. I felt like I had outgrown it. I have some stories on my account already... I don't suggest 'Not Kikyou, but Me' or 'No one but me' (normally authors encourage you to read their stories...) unless I actually get around to rewriting them. You can if you feel the need to, though. On the other hand, please read 'A Timid Smile'. It's about a young Gaara and it's not too long, so if you have a spare second... I'd really appreciate it. :D

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I'd be working on the actual plot line instead of being here writing about it on Fanfiction.

Necessary Bodily Functions

Sometimes it'll just pass, but other times you just can't hold it in.

Team Gai didn't have a mission. For the past two weeks, there had not been a single waking hour that had not been spent doing _something _for the Hokage, whether it was body guarding an important ambassador, assassinating an escaped convict, or catering at a local restaurant because 'business was booming and Madoriko was home sick'. That is why _today_ they had decided to enjoy themselves by sparing on their day off.

Maito Gai was not so fortunate. He was currently on an S Rank mission with ANBU doing something that he informed them was '_not for the youthful ears of the village' _which was translated by Tenten as 'Top Secret'.

These were the circumstances when what would later be referred to by Tenten as 'Necessary Bodily Functions' occurred.

"Your stance was marginally off to the right on your last through." Neji pointed out as he finished off his 64 palms.

Tenten sighed, rolling her eyes. "Well, I nicked you with the 16th and 32nd kunai." She smiled, while Neji smirked.

"Is it TRUE that you are SLIPPING my ETERNAL RIVAL NEJI? I declare a CHALLENGE to TEST the LIMITS of our YOUTH! YOSH!" Lee exclaimed as he bombarded them with fist pumps, reminding both unsuspecting and very unsurprised victims of a certain sensei of theirs.

"Fine." Neji said, surrendering, knowing that Lee's persistency over ruled his own pride.

"I dibs choosing your challenge!" Tenten cut in. "The first one to run two laps around the village wins." She knelt down and a long line in the dirt from between two rather large trees.

Lee and Neji proceeded (one more enthusiastically than the other) to line up behind it, getting in their own ready positions.

"On the count of three, One, two, three-"and it was that moment that she 'blasted the pants cannon'.

...

Tenten blushed and awkwardly glanced around, not looking either of her other teammates in the eye.

"That was VERY YOUTHFUL!"

She went with it. "Uh-Yes! Youth! Yosh!"

"_Tenten!"_ Neji gasped, as if she had betrayed him. He was horrified to say the least. He looked as if his view on the world had suddenly been snatched away, or like he had just been informed that babies don't just _appear_ magically.

"Hey, you heard Lee. It was very youthful." she informed him, much too conversationally. "Right Lee?"

"YOSH!"

Neji's grimace worsened. "But _Tenten _you," he coughed, "_farted!"_ He said the word as if it were the most vulgar thing one could do; as if it were some sort of crime that would have severe punishments to back it up.

She smirked. "Whoever smelt it, dealt it."

He gasped. "How could you accuse _me_ after admitting that-"

He farted and for a moment, no one said anything.

"You, MY RIVAL NEJI, always SURPRISE ME with your NEVER EXTINGUISHING YOUTH!" Lee declared.

A light blush spread across Neji's cheeks, which was greatly increased when Tenten slung her arm around his shoulders.

"Hey, you heard him." She grinned. "It was very youthful." She bumped his hip with hers and then grabbed his hand and hooked her arm with Lee's.

"Come on. Lunch. Neji's Buying." she said as she and Lee proceeded to skip off to Ichiraku with a shocked and slightly mortified Neji in tow.

I wrote a sort of sequel to this, and I'll publish it if two people (who aren't people I know and told to read and review it) review it. I'll be called 'Unnecessary Bodily Functions'.

If you enjoyed it, found it mildly amusing or entertaining, thought it was OOC, are feeling bored, feel like ranting, did not like it, or want a sequel, feel free to review. If your pet goldfish died, review. If you love Naruto, review. If you had pizza last night for lunch, review. If your Canadian, American, Belgian, French, British, Australian, Spanish, or worship cheese, review... Do you know what would be a great idea? REVIEWING! -Ash (the author who thrives on reviews)


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